SPONSOR ME, I'm useless.

We are looking for skaters to build our team; cut from a unique, naturally dyed cloth. 

Shall we rip that ago old question of “how in the (fuck) do I get sponsored?”

The answer is... BE A GOOD (fucking) SKATEBOARDER. Slappys are fun, but being a curb squirrel doesn’t merit free shtuff.

Photos are cool, but anyone can NOT land a trick and act like they did.  Prove it.

You must have VIDEO footage that is well edited on YouTube. Don’t send that shit raw. *PS. If you skate street, we would rather see actual street footy instead of park skating. Just throwin’ that out there.*

How to get Sponsored RECAP

  1. Be good at skateboarding
  2. Have well edited video footage on YouTube
  3. Don't be a douche

 

A few questions from us to you.

First and foremost, do you LOVE skateboarding?

Tell us more.

Secondly, why the (fuck) should we sponsor YOU?

Really give it some thought here and don’t bullshit the bullshitters; it won't work.

 

Now for the hard questions...  

 

How many years you been in this world?

Where do you live?

How many years have you been skating?

What is your skate stance?

What size deck do you skate?

What size wheels do you ride?

What size shirt do you wear?

What size hat do you wear?

What are some of your favorite skateboarders?

What are some of your favorite music artists?

What are your social media links?

*****Don't bother sending in an application if you listen to talk radio instead of music, or if you’re a boozer.  
We don't fuck with that shit.  
Stop drinking; start skating.

 

Okay.

Take your (fucking) time to answer each question and remember that being sponsored does not mean getting free shtuff for little to no effort. You don’t get a paycheck if you don’t show up to work, do ya?

 

Once you are ready submit your answers,
please use the contact form below to do so.

 

*SENDS SPONSOR ME APP*

 

Okay, so you (maybe) did it. You (maybe) got (fucking) sponsored. Now what?

You have got to work hard repping useless(fuck). Be proactive within your skate community; spread positivity. Never be the asshole at the skate park. Always be working on progressing your own skating abilities. Last but not least, keep stacking that footage! If you truly are putting in the effort, it will show, and if you aren’t... say, "goodbye sponsorship."

 

Troubles Submitting?  Drop it here.

uselessfuck@tutanota.com

 

Don’t be a useless(fuck); GO(fucking)SKATE!